By Natalya Bucuy • Cardinal Managing Editor
As far as life-changing events go, a 3 a.m. bang on the door resides towards the top of the list. It certainly was so for Meg Groff.
The hysterical night-gowned woman at the door couldn’t even explain her distress until Meg wrapped her in a blanket and held her to calm her down. Then, Lily told the horrific story. Her abusive boyfriend, from whom Lily fled with her newborn baby, found her. He beat her up and drove away in the night with the baby. The police officer on the phone told her there was nothing they could do. Meg suspected miscommunication. But when she called, she got a similar response. A lawyer echoed the police’s sentiments in another call Meg placed the next day.
The year was 1974. It would be two years before Meg’s native Pennsylvania enacted the Protection from Abuse (PFA) Act, becoming the second state to pass a law in defense of domestic violence victims. People like Lily were out of luck. Meg set out to help. She became a lawyer and an abuse victims’ advocate. She remains one today.
In her debut memoir, Not If I Can Help It, A Family Lawyer’s Battles for Justice for Victims of Domestic Violence and the Poor, Meg Groff documents her experiences. The book’s pages share Lily’s story among those of dozens of others. Sadly, Meg encountered in her early years as a Bucks County Legal Aid lawyer. For over four decades, Meg defended women and their children against abusive partners, an unfair legal system, and economic injustice. In Lily’s case, things turned out well. The baby was eventually returned to the mother. But many of these stories are sad and tragic. 
The topic on hand is difficult and complex. She engages the reader with tales of creative ways she employed within the system to best serve her clients. Her witty and personal voice takes us through the nightmare world of domestic violence in a way that inspires to act. And that is the goal of the book – to educate readers about the devastating realities of victims. “For years, as a lawyer, I worked to educate the judges, often prejudiced to victims of domestic abuse,” Meg says. “Now, I hope to educate the public. I want people to know that this is not something that happened in the past. It’s happening now. It’s happening in our communities.”
A natural storyteller, Meg says she always knew she wanted to write and share her client’s stories. She does so beautifully in the book, but her hard work is evident not only in her words but in her stand in the community.
As I interviewed Meg about her career and the book, I mentioned her name to a friend. Her eyes lit up and then got sad. Lit up, because Meg was her lawyer who saved her life. Sad, because that time of her life was so hard. My friend is among many. Meg encountered and helped countless women and families as a staff lawyer at Bucks County Legal Aid, a volunteer at the local domestic violence organization, the Woman’s Place, and the consultant and strong supporter of Kayden’s Law.
The latter is a Buck County-based state initiative that gives judges guidance on how to include evidence of domestic violence in their custody judgments. Prior to the law’s enactment in 2024, Groff helped draft the legislation. Following the publishing of her book, she is leading an Impact Campaign to further educate people about Kayden’s law.
How did this Philadelphia-born hippie who hated school so much that she joined the traffic committee so that she could skip classes turn into a community keystone whose actions save lives?
That mid-night visitor was Meg’s first encounter with the issue. There would be more night-gowned, bruised women crying in Meg’s arms. A few years later, she finished her degree in psychology – an accomplishment of many years, as Meg took courses for over a decade while also raising a daughter.
“I had no marketable skills,” Meg writes in the book, describing her unfortunate adventures as a clumsy waitress, a lost taxi-cab driver, and a night industrial sock-machine operator. Eventually, Meg found her way to Temple Law School. There, she felt more out-of-place than ever – everyone had a lawyer connection. She, on the other hand, was a hippie before hippies were in and remained one after, now in the 1980s. But to drop out meant she had to pay back the $5k student loan right away, something she could not afford. And so Meg became a lawyer. Her path took her a to small rural Pennsylvania town and then back to her husband Jim in Bucks County.
Meg says she also owes her success to her parents. Born in 1943 (something she hopes to change to “something more reasonable.”), Meg lucked out with progressive and supportive parents. They instilled deep values in her, always prioritizing justice and responsibility to help neighbors. It was her mother’s advice to enroll in college that put Meg on her path to her passion for helping people in need.
Not if I Can Help It is out on March 4 with Rivertowns Publishing. March 4 is also Meg’s birthday. She says she tried to change it once because everyone is miserable in March, asking her friends to instead celebrate her birthday in May. It didn’t stick, but it occurred to Meg that the date precisely stated her life’s purpose. March “Forth.” And so, she does.
For more information about the book and the Impact Campaign for Kayden’s Law visit, meggroff.com.
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